Babies, T.S. Eliot, and Being a Healer

As some of you may know, I started my practice at Yoga Pearl 12 years ago. I worked for a couple of years, and then took a long, ten-year hiatus. My reason? Children! My husband and I had a son, Hiathan (11), and a daughter, Hayden (7). We are so blessed--they are healthy, bright, and a joy. I did some intense mothering during those years, while giving some healings out of my home.

My days were filled with diaper-changing, cooking, and going to the park. My husband worked as a nurse and I stayed home. It was wonderful and grueling at the same time. I remember one day I realized I hadn't slept through the night in four years. The sleep deprivation was the hardest part. And not having enough time to myself. Prior to having my babies, I loved going to swim team practice, and having large windows of time to think. But those things fell away to the tasks at hand: getting groceries, reading to the kids, pushing them on the swing.

I started working again at Yoga Pearl last year. As T.S. Eliot's quote says, at the end of all my exploration, I arrive where I started, and know the place for the first time. It's been wonderful to meet new clients and yoga teachers. I've relished starting a regular yoga practice again, albeit in a middle-aged body. (It hasn't been too bad--just one achey knee.) I feared that my skills as a healer would not be what they were. Could I still be a powerful, clear channel? Would my intution still be there?

The answer has been a resounding "Yes!" I am beginning to know myself for the first time as a healer after spending so many years away from the work. I enjoy getting to know my field after it's gone through all the growth as a parent in the last decade. I am learning to regulate it in a way I didn't before beacuse I'm a different person now. The experiences of the last ten years have tempered me, like a blacksmith has tempered a tea kettle into something useful. What I find in my quietest moments is a lot of joy and a connection to the divine. There's a really strong urge to heal any suffering that comes my way. Sometimes it takes a lot of will power for me not to put my hands on a person!

I look forward to what comes next. For those who are searching for healing, I hope I can be a part of their process--a catalyst to their coming home to themselves--and perhaps knowing it for the first time.